Location, location, location

We're moving to a new house in a few weeks. It's taken some people by surprise. It's a smaller house than we live in right now (but it's not a "small" house). Several people have commented that it's strange to move to a smaller house now that we have three children. To some, we're living the dream. We have a four/five (depending on if you think a window makes a room a bedroom) house with four and a half bathrooms, a finished basement, huge kitchen etc etc. We're in the suburbs. We can't walk anywhere we actually want to go from here. I totally understand that for some that's not a problem. For me it's huge. We made a bit of a mistake when we moved here. I was sick of renting so we jumped too soon. I say a bit of a mistake as we have made some amazing friends in this neighborhood. But again, I crave a simple life. That does not include having five toilets to clean. And, as I have learned, you use the closest bathroom, which means there are always bathrooms to be cleaned. I want to walk out of my front door to go and get some milk or bread or a cup of coffee and get some exercise on the way. I don't want to drive to a gym to get exercise. I don't want to get in the car every time I want to get somewhere. Space is a luxury but in a house it's like a vacuum - it gets filled up. I HATE how much stuff we have that is there because "we might need it and we have the space". 

So we're off to a new (to us) house in a walkable neighborhood. School, fantastic park and playground, and actual shops, restaurants, and businesses that I want to go to. It's taken us quite some time to find the right location but when I walked into the new house it felt like home to me, something this current house has not done in the four years we've lived here. It's not going to be easy with three children to get out of this house and settled in the new one. I can't wait to be on the other side of this. Until we lived here I have always been able to walk somewhere from wherever I lived. I felt such a huge sense of relief when we signed the contract on the new house. We drove over to the new neighborhood that night and took the children out for dinner nearby. I said to M "I feel like I've got my life back". It's VERY different from the life I led before we moved here, but it's a little closer in some positive ways.

Also, we get a "do-over" on the shared bedroom experiment. In the interests of keeping a dedicated guest room we put A & K together when she moved from a crib to a bed. Let's just say it didn't go too well. She exploits our weakness that comes from sheer exhaustion due to the new baby and will make one request after an another. She needs "tiny bit of water", a specific baby doll, different pyjamas. She climbs on Adam's bed, under her own, and tries to get in the closet. Her keen eye for fashion (!) has led to us putting a child lock on the closet to put an end to the multiple daily outfit changes but at night her determination to get in there is taken up a notch. We allowed this to go on too long. We have become more disciplined recently and things have improved. But poor old A needs his space back and in the new house each child gets their own room and guests will either get our bed or an inflatable one - depending on age/mobility of said guest. 

I am really hopeful that this move will simplify our lives. Not in the short run that's for sure but we have high hopes for the future.

Keep It Simple

**This was supposed to be the first post but I got stuck and didn't know what to say. There's more to it than this but at least it's done now!

I moved to the US from the UK to get married in 2003. As we planned our wedding I was struck by how often I had to say "I was thinking of something more...simple" to the florist, the cake lady, the assistants at the bridal store. A lot has changed since then, but I still crave simplicity in my life.

Within this nine years, we were lucky enough to spend 18 months living back in Britain, in London, one of my favourite places in the world (or what I have seen of it so far). I was and still am often asked about where I prefer to live and why. Everyone wants to hear that I prefer the place that they are from - at "home" in the UK people wanted to hear how happy I was to be back, in the US they wanted reassurance that I was looking forward to returning. We DID come back to the US and I was able to assess living in the two places as follows - life in the US is easy, life in the UK is simple. I think I had always seen the two as synonymous, but have realised that this is not the case. Perhaps my desire for simplicity in life is homesickness in disguise...

Let me try to explain...It's EASY to get lunch in the US, there are a hundred different places in driving distance. But simple? No...you want a sandwich? White or Wheat? Mayo? Cheese - American, Cheddar, Swiss, Pepperjack? Whole or half? Do you want a side? Fruit? Salad? Chips? I'm not saying this is a bad thing, but the constant decision making that results from the myriad choices Americans seem to want is exhausting. The cereal aisle at the supermarket is another example. I think I might count the options next time I'm there. Sometimes I would like a little dose of good old British "that's fine, thanks" rather than what I see as the requirement to customise every single area of my life. A little "that's fine" goes a long way to making life more simple and less stressed. I actually don't think the people around me realise how stressful their lives are, or if they do, they don't know why this is the case. Choice is a good thing, but too much choice can be crippling.


My desire is to try to achieve a simpler life while living here in this far from simple culture. At the same time I realise that I want to fit in and not stand out (well, not too much anyway. I hope I never lose my accent). So some of the things that I find baffling are going to become a part of my life. I like my life here. But I liked my life there too! I really hope I can combine the things I like here with the things I liked there. And do it in a simple way.... 

Simple beginnings - just get started

I have read so many blogs written by friends, friends of friends, and total strangers and whenever I get to the posts where they record details of their growing children I am filled with regret for not recording more of my sweet children - what they do, what they say, how they make me laugh, how they infuriate me, how much I love them. So, in the interests of "keeping it simple" I thought I should just get started. No more procrastinating, just do it.Doesn't matter that I still haven't finished my introductory post, nor filled out any "about me" information. Here goes...


Today is day three of A's summer vacation. I am still stunned at the reality of THREE MONTHS of summer vacation. It's more than a little ridiculous. In Britain they get six weeks and as I remember, that's more than enough. I told M the other day that I felt like I didn't know how to take care of three children over the summer, with no structure to our days other than that I add to it myself, and then it struck me that I really DON"T know how to do it, since last year there were only two children. I wouldn't have described our lives last year as simple, but adding a third (wonderful and sweet) child has certainly made things significantly more complicated. 


My mother's helper came to entertain A and K so I was free to do nothing for two hours. It felt great. J actually took a decent nap which was very welcome. Three year old K spent most of the day in a red "Welsh Angel" rugby T-shirt, Ni-Hao Kai Lan underwear, and "ballet shoes" (cheap sequinned slip-on shoes from Target). She searched for roly polies, skillfully rode her tricycle to both her and my delight and pride, took a lovely long nap and awoke ready for more. She is so full of character, so interesting and funny. M told me the other day he was glad I had a girl. I replied "She's a little more "girl" than I bargained for. Her style is dead-on. She is more fashionable than I am (that's easy). I wear a grey T-shirt and jeans and she is my accessory, in a hot pink tutu and spotty shirt


Six year old A is a delight. It's so lovely to have him home again after surrendering him to school last August. He's back and he's fascinating. He has a sweet spirit and I love to watch him with his siblings. Caring, interested, competitive. He built Lego most of the afternoon and declared that he is "back to liking Lego City" after Lego Star Wars had won him over for a few months. He's full of stories that he creates about the characters in the police station, or the harbor marina. So quick and clever. He winked at me tonight as he acquiesced to my request that he sometimes let K win a race. Tonight it was out on the driveway and he let her win over and over again.


And my sweet J. He's pushed me to my limit, forcing me to give up any illusion that I am the one in control. He is what people call a "good baby" (as if those who fuss and cry a lot are somehow "bad"?) but he has been so unpredictable compared to his brother and sister. I thought I knew what I was doing having a third baby. God was ready to show me that HE is the one in control. Five months old, two teeth, looking like he is going to crawl any day. I think he is responding to my desire that he leave the baby age quickly! 


So much more to say, but I am going to follow the advice of my A-Level English teacher, Mr Bennett. When you don't know where to start just say SOMETHING. You can always add to it or change it later, but just get something down first. So here it is. Wonder what comes next...