Simple toys

I don't think there is a rule that once you start a blog you have to tell anyone about it, or write a post every day, is there? 

I will take that silence as a "no"

Autumn can't come soon enough. The long, dragging, seemingly endless summer vacation has, in fact, ended. Although I still think it's so strange that in this part of the country children go back to school in the middle of August. It doesn't seem right. Going back to school should be accompanied by crisp mornings requiring  a sweater, shorts should be replaced by trousers or wooly tights and skirts. The heatwave we are currently experiencing here in Kansas is entirely unsuited to a return to classrooms and homework. 

Yet here we are. 2nd Grade has begun and A is THRILLED!! The only problem so far is that the first two days have been half days. As he said yesterday "Three months and one week of vacation and then the first two days we don't get to stay all day??? Let's get this thing rolling!" The fact that he knows the exact length of the vacation is my doing, I am sure.  It seems a little cruel to have had the crazy start of school experience and then have all three children here from 11:15. Filling three months of summer is not easy, especially when many days were either too hot or too rainy (unusual for where we live) to play outside.

So today I decided that I should take advantage of an offer from our local toy store and collect our free "Creativity Cans". They were designed to address the problem of children becoming less creative in their thinking and doing. I know from our experience that something like Lego, surely a toy geared towards a child's soaring imagination if ever there was one, has mutated in the 21st century into a total nightmare toy. Marketing of the large building sets is very effective and aged five, like many of his friends, A was desperate to get some Lego City buildings. He DID love putting them together, following the instructions, and was pleased with the finished outcome. But...it's LEGO. Unless you're going to glue it together, these buildings are not too sturdy. A piece comes off here, another there, and now the door won't open properly. Only a flat 4 piece with a hook thingy on the end is going to work, and no, we can't find it. I have learned that my child is not alone in being stressed out by the imperfections that start appearing once the toys are actually played with. So we stare at these super expensive models and no one is playing with them. Take a trip to Grandma's house and he can't wait to get into the big tub of plain lego pieces his dad used to play with. "Look! It's a race car" (looks vaguely like a race car) "Do you see this? It's a missile launcher!" (again, in a vague way). Lego has become a bad four letter word in our house. 

We are now on a mission for toys that inspire, not shut down, creativity. This promotion by our toy store was meant for us! 

Check out the Creativity Can 

WOW!! When they opened up their cans my children were stumped by the lack of instructions. Then, I was fascinated to see the difference between them. Maybe it's due to gender, maybe to birth order, maybe it's just their personalities. K dived in and started making all kinds of creations - some identifiable, some not, but she loved it. A looked faintly horrified and then started picking up the pieces and examining them. He tried a few things that didn't work and looked like he was about to give up. Then I told him that the information on the can said you could use other things, so I gave him a few things from our own craft supplies. Then he was off, making a toy guitar. They had such a good time and I realised that the inventors of this product are correct, our children ARE rarely given the chance to just sit and create. I love that I found this in the same month as we started making some changes to their toys.

Next step is another purge of the toy cupboards, boxes, and shelves. We did this once before we moved to our new house but it's high time we did it again. Last Christmas we pulled back considerably on the number of gifts our children received, both from us and from others. We went for magazine subscriptions, or things for their bedroom as alternatives. We loved the effect it had on them

Now that I am reading this over, I think this is probably two or three blog posts all rolled into one. However, since I assume that few people will ever read this, I think that's just fine.

Witching hour

Most parents I know are familiar with the "witching hour" - that awful time in the evening before Dad gets home when everyone is hungry, Mom is trying to get dinner ready, no-one is getting along (of course I'm talking about the dad-at-work/mom-at-home scenario because this is my reality). So tonight I tried something different and was encouraged by the results. Obviously, it's a one night thing, so who knows what tomorrow might bring....

I established the baby somewhere safe with a large selection of entertaining toys. He tends to gravitate toward the oven and dishwasher in our open plan kitchen - living room, so this doesn't exactly make for easy meal preparation. In fact, if you want to see him speed-crawl all you have to do is open the dishwasher. He's there in a flash, body-boarding on the opened door. Then, I sent A and K upstairs. They were instructed to get their clean pajamas out for the night, pick up anything off the floor and generally get their rooms ready for the night. I also asked someone to get a nappy (diaper) and some pjs out for J. A wanted to be helpful and offered to do it, K wanted to do something that A was not doing so loudly volunteered her services. In his peace-keeping capacity A relented and they both went upstairs.

Spaghetti was drained, bowls were placed on the table, napkins located. They came back downstairs, beaming with pride at their newly prepared rooms and....everything was calm. I will be trying this experiment again!

Location, location, location

We're moving to a new house in a few weeks. It's taken some people by surprise. It's a smaller house than we live in right now (but it's not a "small" house). Several people have commented that it's strange to move to a smaller house now that we have three children. To some, we're living the dream. We have a four/five (depending on if you think a window makes a room a bedroom) house with four and a half bathrooms, a finished basement, huge kitchen etc etc. We're in the suburbs. We can't walk anywhere we actually want to go from here. I totally understand that for some that's not a problem. For me it's huge. We made a bit of a mistake when we moved here. I was sick of renting so we jumped too soon. I say a bit of a mistake as we have made some amazing friends in this neighborhood. But again, I crave a simple life. That does not include having five toilets to clean. And, as I have learned, you use the closest bathroom, which means there are always bathrooms to be cleaned. I want to walk out of my front door to go and get some milk or bread or a cup of coffee and get some exercise on the way. I don't want to drive to a gym to get exercise. I don't want to get in the car every time I want to get somewhere. Space is a luxury but in a house it's like a vacuum - it gets filled up. I HATE how much stuff we have that is there because "we might need it and we have the space". 

So we're off to a new (to us) house in a walkable neighborhood. School, fantastic park and playground, and actual shops, restaurants, and businesses that I want to go to. It's taken us quite some time to find the right location but when I walked into the new house it felt like home to me, something this current house has not done in the four years we've lived here. It's not going to be easy with three children to get out of this house and settled in the new one. I can't wait to be on the other side of this. Until we lived here I have always been able to walk somewhere from wherever I lived. I felt such a huge sense of relief when we signed the contract on the new house. We drove over to the new neighborhood that night and took the children out for dinner nearby. I said to M "I feel like I've got my life back". It's VERY different from the life I led before we moved here, but it's a little closer in some positive ways.

Also, we get a "do-over" on the shared bedroom experiment. In the interests of keeping a dedicated guest room we put A & K together when she moved from a crib to a bed. Let's just say it didn't go too well. She exploits our weakness that comes from sheer exhaustion due to the new baby and will make one request after an another. She needs "tiny bit of water", a specific baby doll, different pyjamas. She climbs on Adam's bed, under her own, and tries to get in the closet. Her keen eye for fashion (!) has led to us putting a child lock on the closet to put an end to the multiple daily outfit changes but at night her determination to get in there is taken up a notch. We allowed this to go on too long. We have become more disciplined recently and things have improved. But poor old A needs his space back and in the new house each child gets their own room and guests will either get our bed or an inflatable one - depending on age/mobility of said guest. 

I am really hopeful that this move will simplify our lives. Not in the short run that's for sure but we have high hopes for the future.

Keep It Simple

**This was supposed to be the first post but I got stuck and didn't know what to say. There's more to it than this but at least it's done now!

I moved to the US from the UK to get married in 2003. As we planned our wedding I was struck by how often I had to say "I was thinking of something more...simple" to the florist, the cake lady, the assistants at the bridal store. A lot has changed since then, but I still crave simplicity in my life.

Within this nine years, we were lucky enough to spend 18 months living back in Britain, in London, one of my favourite places in the world (or what I have seen of it so far). I was and still am often asked about where I prefer to live and why. Everyone wants to hear that I prefer the place that they are from - at "home" in the UK people wanted to hear how happy I was to be back, in the US they wanted reassurance that I was looking forward to returning. We DID come back to the US and I was able to assess living in the two places as follows - life in the US is easy, life in the UK is simple. I think I had always seen the two as synonymous, but have realised that this is not the case. Perhaps my desire for simplicity in life is homesickness in disguise...

Let me try to explain...It's EASY to get lunch in the US, there are a hundred different places in driving distance. But simple? No...you want a sandwich? White or Wheat? Mayo? Cheese - American, Cheddar, Swiss, Pepperjack? Whole or half? Do you want a side? Fruit? Salad? Chips? I'm not saying this is a bad thing, but the constant decision making that results from the myriad choices Americans seem to want is exhausting. The cereal aisle at the supermarket is another example. I think I might count the options next time I'm there. Sometimes I would like a little dose of good old British "that's fine, thanks" rather than what I see as the requirement to customise every single area of my life. A little "that's fine" goes a long way to making life more simple and less stressed. I actually don't think the people around me realise how stressful their lives are, or if they do, they don't know why this is the case. Choice is a good thing, but too much choice can be crippling.


My desire is to try to achieve a simpler life while living here in this far from simple culture. At the same time I realise that I want to fit in and not stand out (well, not too much anyway. I hope I never lose my accent). So some of the things that I find baffling are going to become a part of my life. I like my life here. But I liked my life there too! I really hope I can combine the things I like here with the things I liked there. And do it in a simple way.... 

Simple beginnings - just get started

I have read so many blogs written by friends, friends of friends, and total strangers and whenever I get to the posts where they record details of their growing children I am filled with regret for not recording more of my sweet children - what they do, what they say, how they make me laugh, how they infuriate me, how much I love them. So, in the interests of "keeping it simple" I thought I should just get started. No more procrastinating, just do it.Doesn't matter that I still haven't finished my introductory post, nor filled out any "about me" information. Here goes...


Today is day three of A's summer vacation. I am still stunned at the reality of THREE MONTHS of summer vacation. It's more than a little ridiculous. In Britain they get six weeks and as I remember, that's more than enough. I told M the other day that I felt like I didn't know how to take care of three children over the summer, with no structure to our days other than that I add to it myself, and then it struck me that I really DON"T know how to do it, since last year there were only two children. I wouldn't have described our lives last year as simple, but adding a third (wonderful and sweet) child has certainly made things significantly more complicated. 


My mother's helper came to entertain A and K so I was free to do nothing for two hours. It felt great. J actually took a decent nap which was very welcome. Three year old K spent most of the day in a red "Welsh Angel" rugby T-shirt, Ni-Hao Kai Lan underwear, and "ballet shoes" (cheap sequinned slip-on shoes from Target). She searched for roly polies, skillfully rode her tricycle to both her and my delight and pride, took a lovely long nap and awoke ready for more. She is so full of character, so interesting and funny. M told me the other day he was glad I had a girl. I replied "She's a little more "girl" than I bargained for. Her style is dead-on. She is more fashionable than I am (that's easy). I wear a grey T-shirt and jeans and she is my accessory, in a hot pink tutu and spotty shirt


Six year old A is a delight. It's so lovely to have him home again after surrendering him to school last August. He's back and he's fascinating. He has a sweet spirit and I love to watch him with his siblings. Caring, interested, competitive. He built Lego most of the afternoon and declared that he is "back to liking Lego City" after Lego Star Wars had won him over for a few months. He's full of stories that he creates about the characters in the police station, or the harbor marina. So quick and clever. He winked at me tonight as he acquiesced to my request that he sometimes let K win a race. Tonight it was out on the driveway and he let her win over and over again.


And my sweet J. He's pushed me to my limit, forcing me to give up any illusion that I am the one in control. He is what people call a "good baby" (as if those who fuss and cry a lot are somehow "bad"?) but he has been so unpredictable compared to his brother and sister. I thought I knew what I was doing having a third baby. God was ready to show me that HE is the one in control. Five months old, two teeth, looking like he is going to crawl any day. I think he is responding to my desire that he leave the baby age quickly! 


So much more to say, but I am going to follow the advice of my A-Level English teacher, Mr Bennett. When you don't know where to start just say SOMETHING. You can always add to it or change it later, but just get something down first. So here it is. Wonder what comes next...